Bob had a rough few weeks, but he recovered amazingly well considering what he had removed. Within a few weeks, he was becoming anxious and restless at home...looking forward to going back to work. He had to go for some "routine" scans and had a follow-up appointment for the end of June. We expected a clean bill of health and the green light for him to return to work. We joked the entire drive there about how much of a waste of time this appointment was...after all, we were going to have to wait for a doctor...only for the doctor to come in and tell him that he was OK. We already knew that much...?? All went well, the doctor said he had gotten "it all" and the tests came back clean. He felt better, gained weight and was ready to get back to his life. We had "dodged" the bullet, or so we thought. As soon as the doctor came into the room, I could feel and see the look on her face. Something was not right, something was definitely wrong...my heart hurt, my chest tightened up and I felt very scared. She had some bad news to tell us...the cancer had spread into Bob's lungs in the form of 8 tumors! OMG, my body was weak and I dropped to the floor. The doctor left for a while so we could "process" this news. Bob looked in shock, I was devastated. It was as if I were shot...and I was dying. When she returned, she explained his options and what type of drugs were available. Sadly, not much for kidney cancer. It doesn't respond to traditional chemo or radiation, very little was on the market. We learned about clinical trials...and we needed to make a decision on how to proceed. We couldn't even think, let alone make a decision. We were sent on our way with a lot of reading material. I couldn't compose myself for the whole drive home, poor Bob had to drive back to Reading from Philly after hearing what was to be a "death sentence". Surgery was not an option with the amount of tumors that were in his chest. The disease, more than likely, was throughout his body since it moved from the kidney area to the lungs. Cancer likes to invade the organs that have the most blood and/or oxygen. How were we going to break this news to our families, more importantly, to our son? Why has God abandoned us? It was a horrible, isolating feeling. I felt terrified. I couldn't let Bob know how scared I was (or our son)...so I pulled it together and got into a "fight" mode. I was in "fight mode" for 3 1/2 years...and Bob was an extremely brave, couragous fighter for those years. It was the beginning..of the end.